Thoughts from 2020/Gems for 2021
Meant to post this earlier, but a coup attempt threw me off. This photo makes total sense, not only as it relates to hosting webinars, but consistently tip-toeing the line between different worlds. At a high level a number of themes and idea stuck out (outside of Covid and Social Justice), specifically: interpersonal interactions, identity and self-reflection. I value relationships much more than my own ego, but I also can hear crickets behind a waterfall. There’s nothing wrong with appeasing and coddling naysayers, but there’s also nothing wrong with me (us); it’s draining and not sustainable (“when keeping it real goes wrong”). As a young(er) black male I find myself in some pretty unique spaces being the “only” — so yes, parts of 2020 were fascinating. It’s always weighed in my subconscious, but it became a conscious thought.
“Is that how you actually talk to people or is it just me?”
The internet has provided a false sense of security; at least false to me, as I would never hide behind a keyboard if it truly mattered. As I reflect on the wins and losses, I’m thankful for the time I spent with those who are no longer here as it guided my perspective as it related to what was most important. No “where do I begin” for this, just some things I gathered from last year, with an eye toward 2021.
Academic intelligence is important, but overrated. You read a bunch of books, I lived a bunch of life (and I read those books too — word to Matt Damon from Good Will Hunting)
You never have to front for me. Generally speaking people want to help. From letters of support to calling the wolves, I’m always going to look out…as long as I know. I’m a work in progress myself, but some of y’all are out here BOGUS AS HELL.
Roasting is a subset of the words of affirmation love language. I don’t make the rules.
Being well spoken can help you get away with saying really stupid shit
I remember hearing “Work” in the club when it first dropped. I’m sad “Wap” will never have that moment.
I saw a DJ play a Gorillas song from ‘02 mid-set and IT DIDNT MISS. Lesson here, do what you gotta do and you can do what you wanna do.
I started looking at the gains as opposed to the losses regarding relationships. It’s a game changer.
Unexpressed expectations is just premeditated resentment.
Speaking of, I don’t want to hear about the inner workings of your relationships. I hope things work out as they should, but as a society we have got to stop banking on other people telling “us” what we already know.
Said this last year, but it bears repeating: If they are into you, you’ll know; if not, you’ll be confused. Also, she’s not reading that Instagram post — the streets have taken her back and she loves it there bro.
People that track other people’s likes are lame. There are sites devoted to this and it’s a no for me
Politicians taking jabs at each other is also equally lame. You’re a jerk or you couldn’t get a deal done; a bunch of retweets and likes means nothing FOR ME.
Understanding who you are is a great feeling. I’m thankful to those marginalized groups of people who continue to push the barriers of identity.
Started a business this year. Biggest lesson: Know your worth. I walked one of the homies through a situation earlier this year, just off the love. A month ago he sent me a check with a card that read, “people make a good living off what you give away for free.”
Gotta put yourself in situations to be exposed to new people, perspectives and ideas. Here’s to more non-performative diversity in our social media feeds in 2021.
While it wasn’t perfect, I’m thankful how I grew. up and the people I grew up with. Even when we disagree it’s still love.
It’s hard to judge people on racial stereotypes, if you actually spend time with those people. We spent all 2020 acknowledging faults, exposure is the next step.
Go read Stamped by Jason Reynolds.
