On: Joy. (Trust the process.)
I remember it vividly. There was a night I had to disconnect from all the conversation centered around George Floyd. Sadly, it wasn’t a new thing — I (a certain amount of we) were unfortunately used to it. I could deal with that, this line penned from the late Nipsey Hussle describes it perfectly:
“It’s a lot and you that young and witness life and death, you shellshocked but aint no tears involved, accept it all that’s how the world revolves.”
I’ve always kept going. Problems — we fix those and keep going. Pats on the back — we get those and keep going. I don’t take time to reflect because… I never really had time for that. But there was a moment following the nights of “civil unrest” that I realized things weren’t ok.
I never watched the video, nor the family plea for justice. As so many families have… Just not something I’m putting myself through anymore. I had a phone full of supportive texts and missed calls, but due to this massive awakening (of sorts) I didn’t know how to accurately process it all. Like many of you, I’d seen this before. I’d seen it when I was too young to see it, so my apprehension to the idea of “things are gonna change” (insert dramatized Tiger Woods fist pump) was deafening — at least for that night.
A year later, the world has changed.
-Paul Robeson was far ahead of his time. Figuratively and literally.
-Handwashing tutorials were a thing; one of those things I’ll never forget was a thing.
-Skype walked so Zoom could run. And by run, I mean run away with the bag. The whole bag.
-When its time to collectively lock in for the greater good, “but wait…” is going to be a thing.
Also, as of last week there’s a federal holiday commemorating Juneteenth. And for every moment of happiness I feel about it — I’m not entirely sure how to celebrate. On one hand, the acknowledgement is important — not so much for me, but for prior generations of black folks.
Trust — I get the “we got a federal holiday, but no anti-lynching bill or voting rights bill?” I do. But for generations before us, being seen and being acknowledged matters. I’m running off different metrics these days, but I understand how the older generations played a role in getting us here.
But still I struggle with it.
They worked 901 additional days as enslaved people. I say enslaved people because it separates a person’s identity from their terrible circumstance (hit me up about the identity conversation, there are some valuable gems that will 1) make you more aware 2) save so many jobs). Imagine in 2021, being so cut off from the rest of the world that you’re forced to work for free for 901 days? In an era where systems are being examined and certain truths are lost in translation, there was a system set in place to impede progress.
But I still struggle with it. Because we can highlight the day, but not discuss the adverse impact?
The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains (Carr), outlines generational shift how we communicate. People aren’t reading books anymore and were only going to skim through an article if it has hyperlinks. And even more, we’re so locked into our own silos that certain buzzwords shut down any chance at having a substantive conversation.
There have been several times where I’ve sent a private message in response to a post that did one of these three things:
1) Presented no factual evidence
2) Didn’t make anyone better
3) Close-minded thinking
The phrase of the moment is Critical Race Theory. I’ve read arguments for and against and it’s all obtuse to me. The truth is scary, and history can be too, but it’s not on us to change it to make things seem “better.” History isn’t meant to be comfortable; it just is. We rob people of true education when we don’t teach historical facts which would in turn give people an appreciation for those who may have a different life experience. I sent a friend The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America (Rothstein) and the response went from, “you lying” to “how do we fix this.”
So, I struggle with it because the lessons many of my friends and colleagues are just now learning about, are lessons I was taught at kitchen tables and barbershops growing up.
How should we celebrate?
It’s a work in progress, but for me — the celebrations, can’t be associated with past traumas. This past Saturday, I was only concerned with possibilities. Black joy is a revolutionary act. Trauma and struggle are so stepped in black culture, that I continually fall in love with the fight. But for a few hours this past Saturday I had to “forget about that for awhile (word to Avon).”
After a year of not seeing people — like collectively seeing people — this event (put on by a fellow ISU grad) was the perfect reintroduction:
- I’ve had OG’s around me since day one (see above photo with my dad and uncle) so the people watching at Riverside park only reaffirmed this snippet from Karlous Miller.
- Memorial Day and Juneteenth are the only days its acceptable (after 1pm) to ride around on a motorcycle with the speaker system at unnecessarily loud levels
- I’m waiting on the case study that examines the build up of black compliments from , “I see you” to “Man, I’m trying to be like you when I grow up”
- The bop on the electric slide is an important part of American history.
- “Computer Love,” “Return of the Mack” and literally any Isley Brothers song serve as unofficial anthems, but there are way too many new artists being overlooked. Will I argue this, nope. I respect my elders.
Looking back to last year, Juneteenth was much needed. I didn’t know how much, but while I’m still a bit apprehensive, in the moment — it was everything I needed it to be. While “celebrating” seems a bit different (first year its been official), I look forward to how this continues to grow.
